I really like THINGS. Like really like them. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life in retail leadership which has equated to a tremendous amount of experience, knowledge, (at times) frustration, a true sense of rational compassion, and a lot of STUFF. The struggle is, as they say, real.
I’ve had this theory for awhile now that in every relationship there is that one partner that is the one who “keeps” and the other that “tosses”. Despite my setup in the first paragraph I will share that I am the one that tosses. Surprised, aren’t you?
You see being the tosser can have its perks. Less clutter. More organization. A greater sense of usefulness to the items kept around. But that’s not really my kind of tossing. You see, my kind of tossing is all about more accumulation; the “let’s get a new one” kind of tossing. A mindset that things are replaceable (which they are…that’s what makes them things). But this pattern has created a lack of permanency; a twisted sense of worth. And a strong desire to purge and replenish with the newer, shiner model. That’s kinda sad if you really think about it.
Andrew is the opposite. I mean, that man keeps EVERYTHING. The baseball cards. The concert tickets stubs. The bottle caps. The vinyl. Lord, give me strength. I joke, but this is actually something I love about him. He sees value and sentiment in the things I wouldn’t. He sees greatness in the broken, misfitted things that could become his next project. Even if that project never begins…or worse, never ends. I digress. Truth be told it makes him, him. And I love him for it.
Andrew got me the book “Present Over Perfect” by Shauna Niequist for Christmas and I’ve been inspired. Like it really got me thinking. Page after page I’ve had firework-like epiphanies forcing me to ask “Nicki, what are you doing?” And so the healthy kind of tossing has begun.
Today is January 30th and my monthly goal is complete. I set out to rid our home of 100 things that I didn’t find of value, of beauty, or of use. I collected them up, room by room- tossing, donating, giving away. And, get this…I didn’t replace any of them. Not one. The act of purging has felt good (gratifying even), but I’m wise enough to know the real work is yet to come. C’mon willpower and prayer!
I don’t yet fully understand the root of my tossing behavior but maybe that will come to me in another 4th of July sky scape moment. Until then, I’m focused on being a a new kind of “tosser”. My goal moving forward is to filter what is around me and my family to ensure it is necessary, valuable, gives joy, gives peace, or creates simplicity. By being the right kind of tosser I can then focus my attention on the finer things in life: the things that aren’t things at all.
What do you guys think? Is less more to you? Is more more? Are you a keeper or a tosser? If you keep, why? If you toss, do you replace?