Father’s Day was last Sunday and I wanted to continue my blogs about being a father but naturally the day got behind me and I didn’t have time. Father’s Day is a unique holiday we get gifts, recognition, and appreciation for the contributions we give to our families everyday. For me I am very humble because I look at the generation before me and realize I have son big shoes to fill.
Our three boys look up to me like their super hero just like I looked up to my dad. I have passed down his wisdom and life lessons and often can hear his voice in how I parent. “Work smarter not harder” “Always try your hardest and do your best and you’ll do fine.” “Have fun but be safe.” At the time these lessons I shrugged off but now I see they shaped me on who I am. My dad isn’t perfect, no dad is but he always tried. He was emotionally, physically, and mentally invested in making sure that he raised us right.
There are some tendencies that I have acquired of his that I pray I hadn’t like his lack of patience or anger but to see how he has grown and diligently tried to improve in these areas for our well being and this motivates me to do the same.
My Dad often shared his trouble childhood. He shared stories about how he was bullied and because he was the youngest and had hand me downs and how he didn’t have many friends. But my friends would often say to me growing up “Your Dad is the coolest” just funny how that comes full circle.
He has a huge personality and is an extrovert. I contribute my optimistic, passion for story telling, and personality toward him. He often will tell the same story 4-5 times but every time he conveys it like it was the 1st. He loves to connect with people and share his most recent experience.
Fathers Day weekend I saw him briefly. We caught up around and grill and chatted for a cookout on Saturday and on Sunday he stopped by with my step-mother quickly to say Hi and just connect. It wasn’t the planned golfing trip or Red Sox game that we have done in the past but for me it was perfect.
I have learned a lot from his parenting. There are things I do differently, and that’s ok, but you can learn a lot about your past. Point to those moments that will forever remain in your memory and try to model the impactful ones. Here are a few that I often make sure to do. Take the time away from work to spend with your kids, share with them passion in their interests, connect to them personally and ask what is on their mind, and most of all love them unconditionally.
Dad I know you’ll be reading this because you have shared your positive feedback on our blogs but I wanted to let you know I appreciate everything you have done for me and the rest of the family. Ya I am sure there are probably a list of things you wish you did differently but we all turned out all right , so you did something right. :). Parenting isn’t easy I now see that, but it is the most rewarding experience. I wouldn’t be half the father I am today with the lessons your shared with me and the model you set for me. Thank you for everything you do and have done. I love you.
One thought on “Fatherhood Part 2. Learn from your past.”
Andrew, What a wonderful tribute. I am so proud of what you have accomplished in your life, and if I can take credit for just 5% of your success in life, I am honored. You have summed my life up in words, that are not just words, but thoughts, feelings, emotions, and yes I wish I had done some things in life differently, But what I did along with Denise to give you the best possible upbringing in life I am proud of. They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and I see traits in myself at this time, that I saw in your grandfather at my age, and I feel I, like Grampa Heath, I have grown a bit wiser in life, and we certainly see life in a different light at my age. You have proved to be a successful husband, father, and friend to those around you and wish you nothing but the best in your success in life. I am here for you when you need me, always have and always will be. I love you. DAD