Fatherhood Part 1 -Trusting God to Provide

As I was scrolling through different apps on my phone trying to settle down for the night, I came across the WordPress app that was buried on the 4th page. I realize I haven’t wrote a blog in a while, seems like the summer just pulled my attention away and I haven’t had the chance to write down my thoughts, even though I have wanted to.

As I pull up the app Bennett our 22 month old starts to cry. It’s 10:45 at night and this isn’t a normal occurrence for him. I go in change his diaper and give him a small bottle to soothe him. I climb back to bed and Benny’s cry wakes up Bishop our 3 1/2 year old. He stumbles out of his room and sleep walks into our room and climbs into our bed. It’s 10:55 at this point.

As a father of 3 boys my job is never done. Parenting is a full time job, but it is the most challenging and rewarding. There are moments that I say to my wife “I wish I did better and I really failed there” and then there are moments that make me think that I am getting the hang of this.

There isn’t a manual or a book to go off of and each of my children is unique, with different needs and personalities. With three boys, I’m consistently putting out small fires (figuratively). As they are growing and changing their needs are growing. (I fall asleep mid blog)

A week later….

As I quietly lay down from a busy weekend I pick up the digital notepad I put down last week. Today at church I had a brief interaction with one of the elders. A gentleman who I look up to for inspiration and a model of the father and man I want to become. He shared how two of his sons are in college excelling and his youngest daughter is going into senior year of high school. He talked about the battle that they faced every day as Christian kids in public high school. But he stood humbly proud that his kids were Captains of their sports teams, excelling academically, and most importantly were the light for their friends and helped save them from bad choices. This is what we want for our kids. To be kind, loving, and respectful. To be successful not by their merits but by the person they are.

Tucking in my almost ten year old step-son tonight, after a challenge no day for him, we chatted about and how if he believes in Jesus he can overcome any obstacle or attack of the enemy. He just replied “sometimes I don’t believe God is real because it seems impossible He could raise someone from the dead”. My reply was simple. “Well that is why they call it faith. It takes belief in something that seems impossible to be possible.” I also shared other miracles that Jesus preformed in His life that may seem impossible. But for a 10 year old or even for a 34 year old we don’t always think alike that.

A very short testimony of an event that occurred this last week as perfect example. Bishop and I were going the bathroom at church before I had worship practice and there was a small candy dish of peppermint candies near the sink. He asked if he could have one and without pause I unwrapped it and gave it to him. I warned him to not swallow it and suck it like lollipop. I went on to join the group and Bishop went with our sitter. Within 5 minutes, the babysitter came running saying the candy was stuck in his throat. Bishop had tears down his face and didn’t look right. As I tried to talk to him and try to figure out what was wrong he puked on me and out came the mint that was blocking his airway. My heart stopped once I realized what happened. He was scared and I was as well. After a few hugs and reassurance that he was alright he was back to his normal self as me and my wife just looked at each other in awe and cried. A miracle from God that he was safe.

Sometimes parenting seems impossible, we over react, get frustrated, fail where we want to succeed, and sometimes feel hopeless or lost, or regret decisions we have made. But children are a gift from God. They provide us as much opportunity to grow as parents as we give them to grow as children.

My goal as a father is to find myself in a 5 min conversation talking with a young father humbling sharing how proud I am of my three boys. For them to be successful in life and to be kind, loving, and respectful above all else. I won’t be able to do this without the help and support of God along the way.


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