Phew what a day. One of those days you look back and start to say “that is the day I started to lose my hair” or at least my patience.
Parenting is hard. The hardest thing I have ever done. Sometimes you take the small wins and feel like you have concurred the world and sometimes you fail and fail hard. It leaves a lasting impression in your stomach that no matter what experience you can draw from or lesson you learned your answer didn’t work and you failed. That was today. After getting to a breaking point where our entire car was filled with crying boys in unison, one because he pushed his younger brother and felt bad because he was bleeding, the other because he didn’t want to leave the playground, and the other because he was tired and just wanted a nap…I hit a breaking point. I turned down the radio in the car and let loose. One of those moments you look back and say “I might have scared my kids there” but I had every reason right? This was just the straw that broke the camel’s back as they say.
Today stared at 5:20am with my three year old’s knees grinding into my back as he climbed into bed and wanted to find the most creative way to wake up Daddy. To then a absolute breakdown in the grocery store because he wanted to wrestle his bigger brother in the aisle. Proceed by coming home to an argument around who was going to use to new pooper scooper first. Legit. “Dad it’s mine turn to scoop poop not his!”. Like what? We are fighting over who gets to pick up dog poop? This was only 11:00am.
I got a small win with afternoon nap that was long overdue. Accomplishment of the day #1. Then from there it wasn’t bad until we had to leave the house again. Now this is where it gets entertaining. We decided it would be a good idea to bring the entire family to house showing because are looking for a new place. Ya that was smart. Kids were leading the fastest house tour I have ever seen as they bounced from room to room and our Realtor just looked at us with this look like “ya I have been there before I have kids of my own” but really you’re thinking to yourself “this guy probably thinks we need a bounce house attached to the garage to accommodate these monkeys”. It was stressful, but manageable. You just kinda do your best to provide some correction and direction for your kids without raising your voice around strangers.
Then came the playground incident. I am on the phone, literally probably the first time I had a chance to use my phone today and get the “Dad. Dad. Dad. Daddy. DADDY!” I respond “What Bishop?! Dad is on the phone. What do you need?” He innocently replies, “Who you talking to?” Such a simple question but not the right timing. I am at an 8/10 at this point from a lack of patience perspective after the house tour so we pull into a playground so I can finish this phone call to our finance broker. I stop the car, open the doors and with help from Nicki, the kids get out. Within 2 minutes Bishop is crying hysterical with a bloody finger. “Seriously? You can and your brother couldn’t play at a playground today without drawing blood?” This is were there was no point of return. Dad hit that moment that he just couldn’t handle it anymore and ugly came out. Wasn’t one of my shining moments of parenthood.
Well fast forward to the end of the night. We are at our friends house and I go in to use their bathroom. I look up and read “Relax and Accept the Crazy”. Yup, there it was. The words I should have said to myself earlier before I turned into a banshee. It was a fitting conclusion. Tomorrow, is a new day but I will keep this perspective in mind when the crazy comes around.